Friday, May 31, 2013


To say I’ve been in a funk for the last seven months would be an understatement. I’ve had a severe case of the doldrums, to say the least.

dol·drums: noun plural \ˈdōl-drəmz, ˈdäl-, ˈdȯl-\
1: a spell of listlessness or despondency
2 often capitalized: a part of the ocean near the equator abounding in calms, squalls, and light shifting winds
3: a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or slump

2012 was one of the worst years of my life, so while I don’t know exactly what I was expecting from 2013, I was expecting something! Instead I’ve found myself just going through the motions of each day, waiting for that something to show itself. If I’m really being honest here, I had hoped that something would be a baby or at least a pregnancy. So far, no such luck there. Well, with another negative test in the trash I’m finding myself a little sick of waiting, so I’m going to attempt at pulling myself from this mud pit I’ve been trudging through and try something new.

I’m not 100% on what all this will include but I do know it will involve me doing some more talking. Don’t get me wrong, I could probably have a conversation with a tree, but that’s mostly because A) I’m not concerned about a tree judging me or giving me a “you poor thing” look, and B) it probably would be a fairly superficial conversation in which I don’t really tell the full story, just in case that tree somehow grows a face and gives me that look I’ve been hiding from.

This new stuff will involve this blog. I started it last September with no true direction to go in. Part of that lack of direction was because I wasn’t even sure how much of my life I actually wanted to share with others. As a result, it went nowhere, fast. A few months ago I came across this great blog called Sawdust & Embryos. I fell in love with her personality and I also realized that part of the appeal of the blog was the fact that she was honest about her struggles. It made me realize that my favorite bloggers are the ones that let a lot of their true colors show. They blog for themselves and we’re all just along for the ride, usually because we can relate in some way to what they’re going through.

So here I am, getting ready to start a new month and the second half of the year, and I’m ready to reboot. For those who chose to follow along here’s a warning: I will be writing for myself, no one else, as a result, I will tolerate no negativity. I kind of have a sick sense of humor, a sarcastic attitude, and can bounce from the extreme optimist to the extreme pessimist in the same thought. It makes for a dizzy conversation to follow. I apologize in advance. In my everyday life, I’m a rug-pusher, bad, so there may be days when I have a vent session more than anything. For that, I also apologize in advance. Also, I tend to write like I talk and I tend to ramble when I talk. I will do my best to not make extremely long posts, but I make no promises. My goal is to be as open and honest about my life, both the good stuff and the things I struggle with, so if you have a question, feel free to ask in the comments.

I know myself well enough to know that if I take on too much at once I won’t do any of it, so I am not going to commit to posting more than once or twice a week, for now. Hopefully as this becomes more of a habit I’ll get better. That being said I’ll be leaving tonight for Nashville, as a dear friend of mine is getting married tomorrow, so I probably will not be posting again this weekend. Of course that means my next post will probably be light and pretty, since I’ll still be hoped up on lovey-dovey wedding juice.

Have a great weekend!

PS: I’ll finally be putting together a new header, so get excited for that! (It’s the little things)

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