Reboot!

To say I’ve been in a funk for the last seven months would be an understatement. I’ve had a severe case of the doldrums, to say the least.

dol·drums: noun plural \ˈdōl-drəmz, ˈdäl-, ˈdȯl-\

1: a spell of listlessness or despondency

2 often capitalized: a part of the ocean near the equator abounding in calms, squalls, and light shifting winds

3: a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or slump

2012 was one of the worst years of my life, so while I don’t know exactly what I was expecting from 2013, I was expecting something! Instead I’ve found myself just going through the motions of each day, waiting for that something to show itself. If I’m really being honest here, I had hoped that something would be a baby or at least a pregnancy. So far, no such luck there. Well, with another negative test in the trash I’m finding myself a little sick of waiting, so I’m going to attempt at pulling myself from this mud pit I’ve been trudging through and try something new.

I’m not 100% on what all this will include but I do know it will involve me doing some more talking. Don’t get me wrong, I could probably have a conversation with a tree, but that’s mostly because A) I’m not concerned about a tree judging me or giving me a “you poor thing” look, and B) it probably would be a fairly superficial conversation in which I don’t really tell the full story, just in case that tree somehow grows a face and gives me that look I’ve been hiding from.

This new stuff will involve this blog. I started it last September with no true direction to go in. Part of that lack of direction was because I wasn’t even sure how much of my life I actually wanted to share with others. As a result, it went nowhere, fast. A few months ago I came across this great blog called Sawdust & Embryos. I fell in love with her personality and I also realized that part of the appeal of the blog was the fact that she was honest about her struggles. It made me realize that my favorite bloggers are the ones that let a lot of their true colors show. They blog for themselves and we’re all just along for the ride, usually because we can relate in some way to what they’re going through.

So here I am, getting ready to start a new month and the second half of the year, and I’m ready to reboot. For those who chose to follow along here’s a warning: I will be writing for myself, no one else, as a result, I will tolerate no negativity. I kind of have a sick sense of humor, a sarcastic attitude, and can bounce from the extreme optimist to the extreme pessimist in the same thought. It makes for a dizzy conversation to follow. I apologize in advance. In my everyday life, I’m a rug-pusher, bad, so there may be days when I have a vent session more than anything. For that, I also apologize in advance. Also, I tend to write like I talk and I tend to ramble when I talk. I will do my best to not make extremely long posts, but I make no promises. My goal is to be as open and honest about my life, both the good stuff and the things I struggle with, so if you have a question, feel free to ask in the comments.

I know myself well enough to know that if I take on too much at once I won’t do any of it, so I am not going to commit to posting more than once or twice a week, for now. Hopefully as this becomes more of a habit I’ll get better. That being said I’ll be leaving tonight for Nashville, as a dear friend of mine is getting married tomorrow, so I probably will not be posting again this weekend. Of course that means my next post will probably be light and pretty, since I’ll still be hoped up on lovey-dovey wedding juice.

Have a great weekend!

PS: I’ll finally be putting together a new header, so get excited for that! (It’s the little things)

Forgiveness

It’s officially been a full week in 2013! How are your resolutions going? Mine? Some are great! Others, like working on my blog more, ha, not so great. Note the typo that still exists in my title. (As an English major this is driving me up the wall!) The hubs and I made a sort of goal list for 2013. It’s long and intimidating, so we decided to also layout time frames for when we hope to accomplish/do the things on our list. This seemed to make it less daunting. Of course, I still came out of the gate full steam and had all these grand plans and ideas for how I was going to change and be better in every way! So, when I found myself falling back into old habits or not having worked on some things that were on my long list I suddenly realized I needed to gain a bit of perspective, IT’S ONLY BEEN A WEEK!!!! I also realized that I maybe needed to add something to my resolutions list: FORGIVENESS. It’s so easy to get down on ourselves when we set out to start something new and then struggle with it. I know I’m not the only one out there, maybe some of you are finding that you may need to add forgiveness to your resolutions as well. In my head it’s easy to be logical and recognize that I’m not perfect, nor will I ever be, as well as, change takes time and routines aren’t formed in a day. Of course than this nagging voice comes in and I start comparing myself with others, which makes me feel bad about myself and the fact that I haven’t fixed that stupid typo. As I’m in bed typing all this, that right, I’m writing a post at night and not at work like a responsible person (point for me!), I actually find myself laughing at my personal criticisms and what things I struggle with. I know a lot of people whose biggest struggle is with their weight and dieting. Once upon a time, I was one of those people, but then in 2008 I reached my heaviest and found out that not only was I a little over 30% body fat, but at 23 years old I was just south of the high cholesterol border! It was a wake-up call for me, so I joined Weight Watchers and made a lifestyle change. I’m still no stick, far from it, and honestly, I just don’t have the mental drive to ever work hard enough to have rock hard abs, but I’m healthy. What does this story really have to do with anything? Its part of what I’m finding so funny about myself right now. It took me almost 2 years to reach my goal weight and be happy with whom I was physically. And I became the kind of person that, when it came to food and making the right choices, I was able to take it one week, one day, and one meal at a time. I didn’t get down on myself when I had that piece of candy, and I certainly didn’t say “screw it” and eat three boxes of candy. I learned to not get down on myself or deny myself something I wanted that wasn’t the best for me. It was an amazing feeling when I realized how I had changed. Now, as I work to take off the extra 15lbs I put on during me emotional downhill spiral of 2012, I find I still have that mentality and my food and weight resolutions are the ones I’m sticking to the most. Yet here I am laughing at myself because I still have that wrong mentality when it comes to things that are not nearly as important as my health. But, in writing this, I’m hoping that I can start to forgive myself for not done, or even started on, every single thing on my great big list. Again I say to myself, IT’S ONLY BEEN A WEEK!!!! I actually struggled with myself to even write this post, not because I was afraid that I would expose some weakness to strangers, I didn’t really care about that, but because was this close to saying “f*** it” because I didn’t really have anything exciting to share or fixed that damn typo. But then I found myself reaching for the remote to watch an hour or so of TV before falling asleep and instead decided I could send that time aimlessly rambling on my blog instead, and you know what? I’m glad I did! Because, while there was no real direction or goal for this post, I find myself at the end here feeling slightly renewed in my energy to be better and the knowledge that tomorrow is a new day and another chance to get back on the new routine horse. I find myself, forgiving, and it’s made me happy, which is the whole reason I even started blogging; because it made me happy to do so. I hope you all are not giving up easily on your resolutions. Is there something that you resolved to do that you haven’t started on this week? If so, don’t worry, there’s always tomorrow.

FYI: I haven’t fixed the stupid typo yet because I haven’t quite decided on where I want to go with my blog facelift, as well as, I usually make my title with Photoshop, which I only have on my computer at work, and I have not found the time at the office to work on it. Sorry if it’s been bothering you. If you can’t tell it’s been driving me crazy too. Hopefully that’ll be a project I can take care of this weekend. 

Long Time No Post

Let me start by saying sorry for not posting since before Halloween. I didn't even get in a H54F post last week! I guess that means I'll have to do a double High Five this Friday. I know it's late, but HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The hubs and I in our Halloween costumes as zombie Cleopatra and Cesar. The Zombie makeup was too light, so we ended up just looking tired, haha! Oh well.

It's been a very busy 10 days for me at work. A little detail about me: I work for a small commercial real estate and property management company. My official title is Office Generalist. What's that mean? It means if something needs to be done, for any department, I get to do it. There's a whole seven of us in the company; a property manager, a controller, an AP/AR person, a leasing manager, C.O.O., the owner, and me. The nice part about my position is that there's variety. I'm basically the assistant to everyone in the office, so, on a daily basis, I get to do some accounting, bookkeeping, marketing, property management  and executive assistant work. The best part of my job, is that I'm also in charge of marketing and managing an event space that's located in our office building, so I also get to do some event planning work. We recently launched a brand new website and started marketing through social media, the managing of these marketing aspects has been given to me as well. I love the company I work for and I love the variety of my position, as I get bored easily. The down side, is that there is a definite ebb and flow, which results in a lot of down time followed by a lot of busy time. Last week was definitely a busy time, and since I tend to write most of my posts while I'm at work, in between tasks, that busyness resulted in no postings. 

Why don't I just post on the weekends? Honestly, I don't know. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that, at work, I'm already on the computer and typing so why not just add a post to my to do list for that week? Also, I tend to spend most of my home time working on projects or soaking up time with my hubs, I kind of like being around him. And, since he likes being around me too, I assume, he tends to give me grief when I get on the computer when he's around. I'm sure if I had a large following, or I was making any money off my blog it'd be a different story, but since I'm still just starting out, it's easy for me to give into his teasing. 

Then there's my recent struggles with my blog. First, I'm having to accept that I can't just start a blog and instantly have hundreds of followers (WHAT?!?!). Second, I'm trying to figure out what the purpose of my blog is, and where I might fall into the blogosphere. I like to think of myself as a well rounded person who's neither left or right brained, and who has a short attention span. As a result, I can't find myself being content blogging about just one subject. I'm also not going to be "reinventing the wheel" for any subject matter, because, let's face it, thanks to Pinterest, you can find out how to do ANYTHING! So here I am, an average person, who enjoys crafting, quilting and cooking. I'd also like to be more athletic, have a tidy house, and be debt free. All of which are topics I'd like to write about. Someday, I'd like to be a mom, and write about that as well. So maybe, I also need to accept that this blog will probably never have hundreds of followers, as I'm too all over the place, and love my blog for what it is, an extension of me, and an outlet for me to talk about whatever suits my fancy that day. Probably the biggest thing I need to accept, is that I will probably always have to work a full time, 40hr/5day/wk, job, which means, sadly, that I will probably never be able to devote as much time as I'd like to my blog. I know I'm not the only person out there who currently is struggling or has struggled with these matters, especially starting out, so if you can relate, I'd love to hear from you. 

What are you or did you struggle with starting out with your blog? 

How are/did you get past those struggles?

Thanks for listening to my rambling thoughts on this gloomy Monday. 

I know it's already the 5th, and I really should have posted these at the beginning of the month so you could join in, but, like I said, it's been a busy 10 days, so here are my October photo-a-day pics and the November list. Check out Fat Mum Slim if you have any questions about how to do the photo-a-day, and don't be afraid to start now with November. There's no rules saying you have to start at the beginning of the month or do every photo (I missed a few in October). 

I loved some of the shots I got this month! You may recognize one as part of my blog button. When I look at them all together like this I notice some themes for this month, for me, seemed to be food, my pups, and the fall colors. Love it!

FMS's November Photo a Day Challenge list. Can't wait to see what themes come out of this one. 

A Perfect Night Out Followed By A Perfect Night In

What an enjoyable weekend with the hubs! It started on Fri when he surprised me at the work at the end of the day to pick me up for a date. He preceded to take me to The Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner, which is not to die for food but pretty tasty and a fun atmosphere, plus it’s right around the corner from The Actors Theater of Louisville, where we went next to see Dracula! Every year Actors does Dracula, A Christmas Story, and A Christmas Carol for its holiday plays. Blake grew up going to these shows and I had heard so many great things about them, but we were never able to figure out a time to see them when we were in town visiting. Then we moved here and I was determined to go. We crossed A Christmas Carol off the list the first year, but things get busy during the holidays when you have to travel for family so we haven’t had the chance to see any of the others. This year I was determined to see Dracula, and was starting to get nervous that we weren't going to be able to when I realized it was already mid October. Blake saved the day though by going to get tickets on his day off from school and what a happy surprise it was to get to see it. If you ever find yourself in Louisville in October, make sure to carve out a slot of time to see this show, because it’s amazing! It’s in an intimate small theater in the round setting, so you’d never think they’d be able to pull off such great special effects, but there you are, finding yourself asking, where did he just come from!?!? It was a perfect date night!

Saturday was suppose to be an errand running day for me and then we were going to go to see a friend’s band play at one of the local bars…But it turned out to be another great Blake and Natalie alone time day, and it so enjoyable. Blake woke up early to work on his paper for one of hid grad classes. I lounged around like a bum for a little bit after I woke up, then got ready, and went to the kitchen to make some crock-pot chili for dinner. Mean while Blake finished his paper and went up to get ready so that by the time I was heading out the door to run errands he had decided he was going to join me. He went with me while I got my flu shot\and went to my monthly quilt block meeting. Then we had lunch at Panera, it was a cold day which meant I wanted some soup in a bread bowl, yum! Then it was off to Hobby Lobby to get some crafting and Halloween items, and his mom’s house to let her dog out, since she was gone all day in Indiana with a friend. We stayed over there for a bit watching a DVR'd episode of Dr. Who, always fun! On the way home from his mom’s I started to feel achy and get a bit of a headache, so he proposed that maybe we should skip the concert and stay in. I pondered on that, and then he told me we could watch Downton Abbey…SOLD! I’m addicted to that show, and hate waiting till it airs in the US, but now they stream them online after they've aired in England, which means we were able to watch the first 5 episode of season 3!!! So we got home, started a fire in our wood burning stove, I served us up some delicious, warm chili while he hooked the laptop up to the big screen TV, no scrunching around a small computer screen for Downton Abbey, and we snuggled up on the couch to watch all 5 episodes available. It was heavenly. Not a rip roaring Saturday night, but, for us, it was perfect!